I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
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