Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
