Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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