I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
MIDGETS
????
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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