Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
