Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
