We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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