I cockslap morals
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize