I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I CAN MOONWALK!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
