At least make sure they are 18
Why
i permit you to call me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
