She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
