Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
