Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
