So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
