11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
