No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
