My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
