Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
her vagine was all disorganized.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
