South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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