You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize