I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
