Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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