he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
