yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
