Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
