I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
