having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
