How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
