What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
