I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
