have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
