my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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