I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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