How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
