He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize