Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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