i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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