Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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