She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
