Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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