do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
