I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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