I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
