She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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