I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
