Its about making memories worth repressing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
should my penis look like a turkey
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
