I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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