But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
