There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
