hell yes lets make some ravioli
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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