Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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