I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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