butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
