dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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