Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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