i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize