Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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