You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
