so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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