I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
