Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
