some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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