I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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