I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize