we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just puked most of my soul out..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
