She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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