I've blown a few things in my day
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize