I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
