We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
