Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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