I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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