dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
