The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
