hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Come on in and take your pants off
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