Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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