Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize