New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
