the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
