so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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