I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
