am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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